Favorite Quotes

"There are only 2 people that can make it rain; God and NASA."

"Where Zen ends asskicking begins"
-Hyde

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. "
-Einstein

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends.
--Benjamin Franklin

Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.
--Benjamin Franklin

Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.
--Benjamin Franklin

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
--Albert Einstein

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
--Albert Einstein

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
--Arthur C. Clarke

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
--Howard Aiken, IBM engineer

The first 90 percent of the code accounts for the first 90 percent of the development time...The remaining 10 percent of the code accounts for the other 90 percent of the development time.
--Tom Cargill

Homer Simpson Quotes

"To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems."

"They have the internet on computers now?!"

"Woo-hoo! I'm a college man! I won't need my high school diploma any more! I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so s-m-r-t! I mean, s-m-A-r-t ..."

"A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!"

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"Ah, the college roadtrip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem?"

"To be loved, you have to be nice to others EVERYDAY!. To be hated, you don't have to do squat."

Homer : Marge, do you think I am intelligent?
Marge : ... ... ... ... Yes ...
Homer : Okay. [goes to sleep] ... Wait a minute! Why did it take so long for you to say Yes? Am I stupid?
Marge : ... ... ... ... No ...
Homer : Okay. [goes to sleep] ... Wait a minute! Why did it take so long for you to say No? Were you humoring me?
Marge : ... ... ... ... Yes ...
Homer : Okay. [goes to sleep] ... Wait a minute! That is bad ...


Bart : "Hey, this monkey can lead us to some bananas."
Homer : "Or more mouth-watering monkeys."

"When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie -- Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing like that movie, Police Academy."

"We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?"

"Mmm ... I smell a distinct odor of anti-intellectualism in this tavern [Homer, the brainy guy]."