[Winged Tiger Carving]

Welcome!

You have discovered Dave's page of unabashed narcissism...

Hi! Since you're here, you're either wondering who the heck I am, or are very, very lost. Before you read any further, I am required—by a Federal law, which after a protracted and bitter fight, the US Supreme Court ultimately ruled was constitutional—to conspicuously display the following informational message...

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:

Daves Are Habit Forming.

Now that the legalities are out of the way, “Who am I?” Why, I am The Davest of all possible Daves!® I hear you muttering, “Oh, right; that tells me a lot.” Actually, it tells you quite a bit. Anyone who knows me will agree that I am the quintessence of Davishness. For a gentle introduction, I suggest you read the poem Dave Kellow penned after reading an earlier version of this page; it nicely summarizes what it is to be a Dave and is entitled On Daves and Davedom. (Thanks, Dave!)

What the heck is Dave?

[Dave riding a camel; Giza, Egypt]

On inspection, Dave appears to be a bi-pedal hominid, probably a close genetic relative of chimpanzees and orangutans. However, it has been noted that Dave has a strong psychic affinity for tigers (all felines, actually) and birds of prey—a factoid that somehow explains the Winged Tiger at the top of this page.

Last time he took a Myers-Briggs style test, he was pigeon-holed as XNFP, which means: a strongly Perceptive (16/20), Feeling (12/20), highly Intuitive (18/20) Ambivert (5/10). This pattern has been consistent for at least the last decade. For a better idea of what that really means take a peek at INFP (which describes his introverted aspect), and ENFP (which, quite unexpectedly, addresses his extroverted side).

Characteristics:

Height: 6'3"—i.e., just barely tall enough that his feet reach the ground
Hair: Abundant and blond
Eyes: Grey-blue, seen usually behind glasses
Weight: 175 ± 5 pounds
Citizenship: USA
Ancestry: ½ German + ¼ Swede + ¼ British islander (viking invader?)
Birthday: July 18
Sign: Occupancy by more than 15 people prohibited by law
Intelligence: Doesn't always come in out of the rain
Orientation: Mostly facing forward, sometimes looking back (for to understand where you are going requires that you understand from whence you came)

How does a Dave spend his time?

[Horus and Dave at Deir el-Bahri]

Putting on and taking off hats. And I've worn a bunch of them, let me tell you!

Some current hats:

Some past hats:

What does a Dave do for fun?

Dave with Akha tribes women; near Kyaingtong, Burma

Daves are sybaritic, sensation seeking beasties. They are known to take pleasure in a wide variety of activities. Daves love adventure and novel experiences spanning the range from the tranquil to adrenalin-enhanced. As a general principle, they are willing to try just about anything—but have no plans to list some of the more “interesting” experiences in a publicly accessible web page ;-) Daves have been know to test the limits of their inhibitions—just to see how far they'll go—and play chicken. Make no mistake, Daves have a lot of fun doing some pretty darn mundane and ordinary things too.

Dave's high-adventure experiences include:

Rainy daze:

Daves have been known to enjoy rainy days and watching thunderstorms. While all of the following activities are ones that a Dave would take pleasure in on a dry day, he has special memories of the following rain enhanced events:

Dave takes simple pleasure in all sorts of things:

But... Dave's ultimate favorite thing to do is... be a kid! The wonderful thing about being—at least chronologically—an adult is that you can be a child; you get to eat cake for breakfast, stay up late, get great toys, act as goofy as you like, and stick your tongue out at anyone who dares say, “no.” As a friend once said, “Children do not have nearly as much fun with childhood as adults do with adultery.” I the distinct impression she meant something else, but I haven't figured out what... ;)

What are some adventures Dave would like to try?

What will a Dave eat?

[Tokyo Lunch]

Daves and food have a complex relationship. There are at least three different ways that a Dave approaches food. Let's start with the most mundane and move to the most sensual. There is ingestion of nutrients because of an intellectual realization that it is necessary; it's a purely functional and perfunctory act, undertaken when he has neither the time nor the inclination to eat. Its usual manifestation is the consumption of a high-protein drink or a sports bar. Next there is the “I'm-starving-so-FEED-ME!” where he's hungry now and will eat anything set in front of him. And finally Dave, Epicurean that he is, truly enjoys dining on fine foods. In addition to savoring delicacies, exotic and mundane, Daves can cook them too! So... here are a few of Dave's favorite things (not ranked in any particular order):

Coffee: Strong(!), with-or-without cream, with-or-without sugar, hot or iced. I love the stuff. Well... if it's good. I'm not talking about that brown crayon dissolved in turpentine beverage cheerfully served at restaurants across the country. A couple of my favorite varietals are from Indonesia—Celebes Kalossi (it's got a real kick too) and Sumatra Mandheling—and Ethiopia—Yirgacheffe and Harar.
Sushi: Mmmm... Fish candy! I was surprised at how (relatively) inexpensive it was in Tokyo.
Beef: I confess, I'm a confirmed beef-eatin' boy. And I like it rare! Just trot the cow once around the field so it builds up a good sweat before ya sever it to me. I love a good fillet mignon, roasted beast and Jarlsberg cheese on a whole-wheat sub roll, pot roast with potatoes and carrots, and so on...
Chocolate: Dark, bitter-sweet chocolate, that's the stuff for me. Milk chocolate is an abomination (much like poodles). Lindt (their Excellence Dark Chocolate, 85% Cocoa bar is a gustatory delight), Ghirardelli, Tobler, and Godiva all manufacture an excellent product.
Liver: Yup! Cooked (but NOT over-cooked) with apples, mushrooms, and onions... it's a feast fit for the gods.
Fruit: I'm awfully fond of fresh fruits and berries.
Soda: I'm don't drink much soda these days (seems silly to ingest that much sugar), but the one most likely to tempt me is an intense ginger beer. I also have a tonic water fetish—but, then I am kinda “different.” :-) Every now and again, I like to dye my lips and tongue bright red with birch beer too.
Dessert: I love a good cake (in most cases, forget the frosting, tho), a tender pastry, a frothy mousse, a tart pie, and flan. The key here is not too sweet! The Germans know how to do 'em right—most Americans think their desserts aren't sweet enough!
Ethnic cuisines: I haven't tried one yet that I didn't like. I'm particularly partial to very spicy foods—Szechaun, Hunan, Thai, Mexican, Jamaican. But that doesn't mean I don't love German, Moroccan, French, Persian, Italian, Vietnamese, etc.
Seafood: Shrimp, scallops, oysters, clams... I quite like shell fish. Oddly enough, I don't eat all that much “fish” fish (unless it's raw... but that's another category ;-)
Milk: Yes, Dave does like moo-juice served hot or cold—warm is just plain disgusting. Whole milk, preferably non-homogenized (did ya know that the reason for homogenization is to make milk taste creamy because they took the cream out? the result is a product that is less healthy than the original! why not just go ahead and leave the cream in???), please.
Tea: As with coffee, I like it just about any way it's served. I do prefer it to be brisk, tho. Herbal teas are cool too. I have been known to imbibe many of Celestial Seasonings' offerings.
Bread: I'll sit-up and beg for fresh bread. Fortunately Publix has a reasonably good bakery (nothing like a good European bakery though), 'cuz I don't have time to make my own bread, and I don't do that stuff sold on the “bread” aisle.
Fowl: Chick-fil-lay sandwiches, roast goose, duck with cherry sauce, turkey with oyster dressing and lots of cranberry relish... I'll gobble 'em all up.

What kind of music does a Dave listen to?

[Paulong Musician]

It might be easier to ask what kind of music he won't listen to. And even then, there are always exceptions. Daves can be—and often are—profoundly affected by music. Usually they will choose an aural environment to complement and enhance their current mood; however, they have been known to deliberately engineer a mood by playing appropriate music. Even if a Dave were to provide an exhaustive list of his musical holdings, it still would not truly reveal the scope of his tastes—as there are many genres which he truly enjoys that aren't represented. That said, a catalog would at least provide the reader with an idea of Davish preferences. At the time of this writing, his most recent musical purchases include:

Mixed genre

Classical

Given the relative proportion of time he actually spends listening to classical music, it is over-represented in this most recent purchases sampling.

Daves are not fond of constant background music, especially when trying to focus upon some task that requires concentration. Instead they prefer to hear music when they can actively listen—thus they most frequently listen while driving, but may also play music when involved in some mindless household chore like dusting.

I've heard that Dave has lots of books. What does he read?

[Old books]

Read? Dave? Ahahahaha! Just kidding :-) 'Tis true that he has a hoard of books upon which he sleeps—much like a dragon upon its gold and treasure—and has even looked at the pictures in a couple of them. The love of books can be blamed upon his mother mother; she mistakenly taught him to read when at the age of two, and he's been scrawling on pages with crayons ever since. If you want to give a kid a huge advantage over his peers, teach him to love books at a very early age. One can't even begin to do justice to the impact reading has had on Dave's life. For those curious as to his recent reading habits, refer to his pleasure reading list (complete with brief reviews).

Books that have had a profound influence on the Dave:

Richard Bach's Illusions
The story of a couple guys bumming around in their bi-planes. One just happens to be a messiah.
Antione de Saint Exupéry's The Little Prince
A bitter-sweet primer for young and old which clearly explains just what is important. If pressed, Dave might confess, that reading it has him me in tears more than once.
Epictetus's Enchiridion
The title means, "Handbook," and that's exactly what it is: a concise guide to stoicism. It's a little longer than the serenity prayer (which, if memory serves, goes something like: “God grant me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference”) but not by much.
Hermann Hesse's Demian
The best, IMHO, of the Nobel laureates tales of spiritual transcendence. His works have helped the Dave thru some of his life's bleakest moments.

Where has Dave lived?

[A beautiful place for a home; Erice, Sicily]

From the time he was unceremoniously hatched to the time he finished high school—Northeast HS, St. Pete—his family chose a new home on an average of every 1.125 years. Some have hypothesized that it might have had something to do with being a military brat, but something more than that must have been going on. In reverse chronological order...

Can a Dave be house trained?

[Japanese monkey trainer]

It all depends on the trainer. A Dave housed in close proximity with others is reasonably clean. When living alone, their homes alternate between looking like something out of a interior design magazine and a poster soliciting relief funds for hurricane victims. Regardless, Daves enjoy decorating all available surfaces with stacks of paper. While Daves have a vast capacity to ignore their surroundings, they are known to very much appreciate a tidy, clean environment. In fact, they will usually keep the area which they most frequently inhabit during waking hours neat. As will be discussed later, a Dave is a mood driven creature—and when in the mood, one will happily do whatever chores need be done.

Dishes: while perfectly content to operate a dishwasher, it's best not even to mention doing dishes by hand in the presence of a Dave: the two are known to be mutually incompatible.
Laundry: Daves tend to accumulate clothes; this has the advantage that laundry needs to be done less frequently. Some might be surprised to learn that Daves actually fold their underwear and socks!
Bathroom: A Dave likes a clean bathroom and has no genetic disinclination toward keeping one so. Things that make Dave wild-eyed and crazy include: the toilet lid left up, the tooth-paste cap left off, a faucet left dripping, and toilet-paper hung the wrong way—i.e., against the wall.
Bills: Would you be astonished to discover that Daves really need an administrative assistant to take care of all that bothersome paperwork? No? Shucks...

Is it true that Daves are children of the night?

[Valletta Stock Exchange building, Malta]

Something special happens between the time the sun sets and rises; something wild and untamed awakens as the sun slips below the horizon. Daves have been known to stand transfixed watching the moon or a cloud scudding across the sky. During the day, the sky seems bounded, but at night, it is infinite. Daves enjoy both the clarity of a crisp night and the mystery of a fog shrouded night. The world sleeps and the Dave is on the prowl.

The mind of a Dave appears to work best late at night. Often it will become so full of ideas that it is difficult for the Dave to fall asleep. Daves can nocturnal productivity can be extraordinary; once they get rolling, they are extremely focused and tenacious. However, to ensure the quality of their work, they have to guard against attempting to operate beyond the point of exhaustion.

A favorite activity is to walk at night—especially along the beach or thru a deserted, but “normally” well-populated area.

If that is so, then do Daves then shun the light?

[Lazing on Melborne Beach, FL]

Absolutely not! It is true that Daves—being fair, Nordic types—have eyes that are sensitive to bright light. While it has not been conclusively determined, preliminary research suggests that the judicious use of sunglasses is most efficacious in ameliorating the effects of high intensity illumination. One surprising consequence of this particular solution is that Daves are frequently mistaken for an incognito celebrity.

In so far as artificial illumination goes: A Dave can not abide by fluorescent lights! However, incandescent and candle light are perfectly acceptable. Indeed, there is something almost atavistic in the pleasure a Dave derives from fire-based illumination.

The days a Dave likes best tend to be partly cloudy with blustering, cool winds, and the sun just intense enough to keep one warm despite the wind, but not not so strong as to result in perspiration. Happily, Gainesville Florida has many days that meet these criteria.

Who has influenced the Dave and how?

[The gang who “adopted” me in Erice, Sicily]

I figure that everyone we meet, and every situation we are in has at least one positive lesson to teach us—one just needs to take the time to reflect and realize what it is. It might be painful. It might be fun. We might not even realize what it is we're learning until years later. But the lessons are there. When we see a quality we admire in another, we can choose to emulate it, to make it a part of ourself. Similarly, we can learn from bad examples—by deciding that we do not want to be that way. It's our choice: to learn and grow or stagnate with a closed heart and mind.

Dave's Golden-Laurels-O'-Thanks® are here-by presented to:

My Mom, who always believed in me.
My Dad, who taught me to recognize quiet love.
Mrs. Ruth Brewer, who treated me like an adult (even tho I was an uppity, snot-nosed 10 year old) and proved that there really are people interested obscure and wonderful things.
Jan, who taught me to be human—or at least she tried!
Ray, from who I learned one of the hardest lessons of all.
Chris, who's warmth and friendship I've treasured over the years.
Trent, who reminds me that kindred spirits (and that he is) can be found in unexpected places.
Gabe, though I haven't the words to explain why.
David, whose voracious curiosity has challenged me to be a better teacher and whose honesty has been the impetus for some serious reflection and soul-searching.
Greg, who showed me it was possible and gave me the courage to get where I am today.
Friendly people I've met on my travels, who have continually proven one can go to a land far away—where one can neither read nor write nor speak, save for a handful of simple words—and still find amazing kindness.
The kids at Shands Pediatric Hematology/Oncology, who showed me that, despite being little monsters, children are wonderful.
My students, from whom I have learned far more than I could have possibly taught.
Rick and Donald, who convinced me not to settle for less.
Claire, who let me see myself thru her eyes.
Dr. Finlayson, Sam, MA, Art, and Joe, who everyday demonstrated how to be a great boss.
Mary, who made me feel at home.
Jeff, who opened my eyes to the pattern.
All the artists (be their media words, sound, paint, stone, light, or something else) whose works I've experienced, who, by sharing their passions and perspectives, enriched my thinking and fertilized my imagination.

Does a Dave have any flaws???

[Temple of Horus at Edfu, Egypt]

Yeah, enough so that he can still fit his head thru a standard sized doorway, if it is very well greased. Actually, a Dave can be pretty darn boring. They are introspective creatures and are thus prone to lapse into reflective silences. In fact, it should be conceded that their minds are known to periodically shut-down, leaving them little more than giant sized veg-pygmies.

Daves are terribly stubborn, proud, and often preoccupied creatures. In addition, they are not particularly co-ordinated, graceful, or endowed with natural athletic ability. The combination has lead to many accidents—ranging from simply walking into a wall to “that unfortunate event at hang-gliding school which resulted in a broken ankle.”

While almost always well-intentioned, Daves need to keep in mind just how intense they can be. When they focus their full attention on someone else, it can be... overwhelming—yes, that's the right word.

Daves also need to be careful to remember to eat. They are often so focused on some activity that they forget to maintain their blood sugar. At best, this makes a Dave grumpy and snippy, at worst it triggers a migraine. Yes, there is a bi-lateral family history of migraines, so the Dave is doomed to periodic bouts of incapacitation. Other factors known to induce migraines in a Dave include loud and/or high pitched noises and bright and/or flickering lights.

As has been previously asserted, Daves are independent (contrary), tenacious (stubborn), creative (weird), confident (arrogant) beasties. Consequently, they are born leaders (do not always play well with others).

How can I get in touch with my inner Dave?

Two university teachers; Chiang Rai, Thailand

So you've made it to end—congratulations! Dave would like to hear from you. Send the archetypal, physical manifestation of all that is Dave e-mail at dts@cise.ufl.edu Some topics about which you could write:

This website and all images herein are original works, Copyright © 2006 by Dave Small. All rights reserved.