Background of Taming Pegasus, a poem by Tim Davis

Taming Pegasus: background, and instructions for students

Angela Lindner, Associate Dean for Student Affairs, suggested that I write a collaborative poem about each engineering discpline, along the lines of The Sons of Martha by Rudyard Kipling, but more modern, and in which students and faculty in the college can participate in its writing. Here's a draft result, which isn't like Kipling's poem at all, except that it too describes the Engineer. This is a collaborative, in-progress poem. When it is finished, the stanzas for each major will be followed by a reply written by students and/or faculty in that field (see the italicized one for a sample). Instructions for students are at the end of this document.

Click here for Dr. Lindner's flyer (in PDF) or in Postscript. (The PDF can cause problems with Adobe Reader 7 with some color printers; if that occurs, try the Postscript file).

For an index of my serious poetry, click here. For my three other Gator-themed poems, see The Tigert, To a Gator, and The CISE Ship of State (all of which are light-hearted).

From the notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci:

Primarily as translated into English by Jean Paul Richter in 1888.

Let no one who is not a Mathematician read the elements of my work.
Human subtlety ... will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does Nature, because in her inventions nothing is lacking, and nothing is superfluous.
The Book of the science of Mechanics must precede the Book of useful inventions.
Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind.
Fire destroys falsehood, that is sophistry, and restores truth, driving out darkness.
Truth at last cannot be hidden. Dissimulation is of no avail.
The earth is not in the centre of the Sun's orbit nor at the centre of the universe, but in the centre of its companion elements, and united with them. And any one standing on the moon, when it and the sun are both beneath us, would see this our earth and the element of water upon it just as we see the moon, and the earth would light it as it lights us.
If the Lord - who is the light of all things - vouchsafe to enlighten me, I will treat of Light; wherefore I will divide the present work into 3 Parts ... Linear Perspective, The Perspective of Colour, The Perspective of Disappearance.
Learning acquired in youth arrests the evil of old age; and if you understand that old age has wisdom for its food, you will so conduct yourself in youth that your old age will not lack for nourishment.
Science is the observation of things possible, whether present or past; prescience is the knowledge of things which may come to pass, though but slowly.
Those who fall in love with practice without science are like a sailor who enters a ship without a helm or a compass, and who never can be certain whither he is going.
Just as iron rusts unless it is used, and water putrifies or, in cold, turns to ice, so our intellect spoils unless it is kept in use.
He who thinks little, errs much.

Instructions:

Students in the College of Engineering are asked to write a refrain for the stanzas for each major. The refrain acts like a Greek chorus. I've already written one above, in italics, for all of Gator Engineering.

Only one refrain will be included for each department. We recommend that you work in one team per department; however, individuals may submit their own refrain as well. If you have interest in participating or have questions, please email Dr. Angela Lindner at angela.lindner@gmail.com. The submit refrains to davis@cise.ufl.edu A draft of the poem was unveiled at the Order of the Engineer Ceremony on May 1, 2008. The final poem will serve as the official poem to inspire all current and future Gator Engineers in our important work.

Click here for a concise two-page PDF version of the poem handed out on May 1st at the Order of the Engineer Ceremony on May 1, 2008.

The meter should be 8, 7, 8, 7. The rhyming scheme can be a-b-a-b (as above), a-a-b-b, or other Quatrain form, as you prefer.

The cadence and intonation must be correct. The refrain should be written in the first-person plural. It can be very specific, refering to details of problems you solve in the major, methods you use, where you get your inspiration, and so on. Your refrain must fit the mood and tenor of the poem, as well (nothing funny, nor silly, and particularly not exceedingly silly, sorry).

It need not tie in to Hellenic myth (none of my examples do), but you're welcome to try. If you get stuck, you might try a rhyming dictionary, but it's best not to rely on tools like that; you can easily miss creative ideas and rhymes that aren't in the dictionary.

If I were to write a refrain for a major, it might look like the following. I wrote this for students in Architecture, which of course aren't in the College of Engineering. This is just a sample of what your refrain might look like:

Within our walls, encompass space,
We see it in our mind's eye;
We build for all a human place,
With Architecture's foresight.

Yes, the word foresight is only a partial rhyme with mind's eye, but you get the idea. Note the cadence, and where the stress is:

Within our walls, encompass space,
We see it in our mind's eye;
We build for all a human place,
With Architecture's foresight.

Similarly for the college-wide Greek chorus, the words naturally fit the same cadence:

With friends and peers of college years
We learn from UF scholars,
Becoming Gator Engineers
In all twelve college majors.

As another example, note Angeline Kahn's stanza, in which the cadence for the 2nd and 4th lines are reversed. This is unconventional, but I think it works very well:

We brandish swords of higher math,
Algorithms redefined;
Headfirst we face the Hydra's wrath:
Problem solved! The truth we find.

It's very imporant that the cadence not be forced. Here's an example I just made up, it's truly lame and the cadence is horrible.

We like to do engineering

for which the natural intonation would either be:

We like to do engineering

We like to do engineering

Ugh ... both cadences are pathetic, and line is truly awful. It does not fit the proper iambic tetrameter. It's the right length for being an iambic tetrameter (8 syllables with 4 "feet"), but the feet are broken, so to speak.

The verbal imagery in the line is also bland; better to show what you like about engineering (solving problems? applying math/chemistry/physics? inventing things? learning things?) than to just say you like it. Be as specific as possible. It is better to give specific examples of what you do rather than vague generalizations.

Additional advice: Let each word tell. Let each syllable tell. Avoid the "to be" verb, if you can, or use it sparingly. Use active verbs instead. I use the "is" and "are" verbs about four times in the poem ("There's" in the first stanza, where the verb doesn't even cost a syllable, "are" for Chemical Engineering, "is" for Civil Engineering, and "Is" in the 2nd to last stanza).

If you're still stuck, and need some help or would just like to brainstorm, stop by my office and let's talk it over.